Jackson Wang opens up to Eric Nam about isolation, drinking until ‘I couldn’t breathe’
By Bryan Ke
GOT7’s Jackson Wang recently opened up to American singer Eric Nam in a new interview.
Wang then said, “I wish I have more time to prep for everything.” He also expressed that he wishes that he could “see who is really there for me… talking about the people around me.”
Later in the interview, Wang opened up about feeling lonely. The “Blow” singer admitted that he felt happy during the interview but knew he would eventually feel lonely after returning home.
To avoid feeling lonely, Wang shared that he always leaves a light on in his living room regardless of how long he will be out, explaining, “because when I get home, I always feel like someone’s waiting for me” and “that light is waiting for me.”
“Outside, everyone is relying on me – my team or whatever – like, I have to make things move,” he continued. “Like, who am I relying on? I get home, I look at that light, and I feel like, ‘At least you are welcoming me.’”
As an artist, Nam noted that he could relate Wang’s words, telling the GOT7 star, “As big as careers or concerts or festivals or whatever can look… at the end of the day, it’s one person… and we’re holding it up for ourselves as hard as we can.”
Elsewhere in the interview, Wang opened up about issues with his mental health that lasted for around a year to a year and a half. The “Cruel” singer noted that he felt lost after being in the industry for around eight to nine years and thought that “everything felt the same.”
“I was home, I was drinking by myself every day to a time that I couldn’t breathe,” Wang recounted. “And I just tell my team… ‘Just stop talking to me.'”
Wang explained he was used to rushing things when producing his music or when performing, but for the first time in his career, he decided to finally take his time.
“Let me take this time outside from this loop, and let me try to meet myself for the first time,” Wang told Nam. “I cut all my relationships with other people, like, just by myself — drinking, writing, thinking, just creating.”
He eventually got out of it after he opened up to his producer and stylist, telling Nam, “[At the time] I feel like, ‘Why am I blocking all this my whole life? Why am I trying to seek for solutions myself, and why am I afraid… to say I’m not okay?’”
Wang also noted that he realized that he “started with nothing” and was no longer “afraid to lose everything.”
“At least every single day I want to live like me,” he said. “Be honest to myself, be honest to the audience… Just as simple as that, but that just changed me in some way.”
The Hong Kong-born K-pop star made headlines in September for cutting off his livestream while promoting his new album “MAGIC MAN” after learning that his fans gave him virtual gift stickers paid for with real money.
Featured Image via DIVE Studios / 다이브 스튜디오
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